Yay! So today I hopefully will be going to see my old carving mentor and ask if I can start carving at his studio again! I really want to carve one more flower before I move down south for school... in 2ish months... so I got a lot of stuff to get to! ^.^ I'm not trying to get my hopes up though, I'm not sure if he would let me back in his studio but when I finished carving with him we were on good terms. He is an amazing teacher and said I was welcome at his studio anytime, sooo that's why I'm kinda being positive that he will allow me to come back. This whole getting ready to leave for school stuff is tiring, such a task that I don't have the attention for so I'm getting worried I might not end up leaving this year. But then again I have no money for moving and just no money in general so moving and living will be awfully difficult in the end... Anyways I'm very close to finishing my painting of Buddha! Almost finished his face
maybe a few more hours of working on it and it will be finished. I'm being as much of a perfectionist as I can allow because this one I want to be absolutely perfect and so far I'm very happy with how it's looking. I have been very at peace when I work on Buddha, I'll be very sad or stressed out but I go to work on Buddha and I forget all my problems and just paint and feel infinately peaceful and abundant.
And I just want to share a story about Buddha I found and was quite touched by it:
A woman named Kisa Gotami was married to a man at a young age and she moved to live with his family in a town called Kapilavattu. She was unhappy living there, she was homesick and felt as though no one liked her. And then once she had a baby, everything changed and she became much happier as everyone was pleased. But one day when the baby was still young, her husband died. Though she was upset, she made the best of what she could, "At least I still have my son." But then one day the baby had gotten very ill and passed away. She was very depressed and in denial, carrying her baby's body around asking every one in town for help, for medicine. People had thought she went insane. After asking so many people, one man had told her to seek help from Buddha. She went to Buddha and told him she needed medicine for her son. He looked at the bundle in her arms and could see the boy was dead, and that Kisa needed help accepting her son's death. He told her that if she wanted to make medicine, she needed mustard seeds. He told her to go into town and recieve mustard seeds from a house in which no one had died. Kisa went into town and began asking for mustard seeds from each house, but she couldn't accept any of the mustard seeds, for in each house the family had lost a loved one. Eventually she understood Buddha's message; everyone loses someone they love, and that with life comes death. She then buried her baby's body, became at peace with his passing, and returned to buddha to thank him for his message. "You have done well, Kisa," said the Buddha, "for there is nothing stronger in all the world than a mother's love. Would you like to stay with me for a while?" As the sun went down over Kapilavattu, Kisa and the Buddha talked. She told him about her life and her baby. He listened kindly. The Buddha reminded Kisa that plants grow in the spring, flower in the summer, and die in the winter - and that new plants grow the following year. Similarly, people are born and eventually die. Kisa now understood that was just how things are.
Talking to the Buddha and listening to his kind words helped Kisa a lot. That very evening she decided to become one of his followers.
Having lost someone very dear to me at the end of last year, this story helped me to be at ease and to help with my sadness, and I hope you enjoyed it as well.